Hell, even the Double Dragon movie seems multi-Oscar worthy in comparison to this junk. It makes Resident Evil look like cinematic glory. It has nothing to do with the game save for some cheap, throwaway line at the end. The clips have no reference to any of the scenes and only degrade this trash even further, if that is at all possible. Why this was universally accepted as a good idea with the filmmakers I'll never know. Jammed into this ghastly disaster is a superabundance of gibberish dialogue, heinous acting, mumbo-jumbo exposition and zillions of clips from the once-popular arcade game of the same name. The characters, like the movie, go nowhere.
Another half hour of stumbling around in the forest follows, as an excuse to kill of some of the lesser characters, and after much tedium they arrive back at the house again. Soon enough they discover an old ramshackle house that's 50 times as big on the inside as it is on the outside. But no, these clueless, obviously blind people decide to go look for them. What would any rationally thinking person do? Run for their lives of course. Why would a tiny little rave (of the Century my foot!) be held on some remote island? Why would anyone willingly pay loads of money to get it? Why pay even more to the craggy old fisherman to take them back when they could just come back with the others? Once they arrive they discover that the rave (which consists of about 2 tents, a small stage and a port-a-john) has been smashed, there's blood everywhere and no one is around. That's gotta be some rave to be worth all that dough! The fisherman warns them that the island is also known as the Island of the Dead (hang on-I thought this was HOUSE of the Dead?) and that they are all doomed yadda yadda yadda. A group of twenty-somethings are so desperate to go out to some island in the Pacific Northwest (Canada actually, because it's cheap) for the 'Rave of the Century' (which consists of about 8 people and un-raving music) that they pay some craggy old fisherman $1000 to take them there after they miss the main ferry. As if it matters, here's the basic jist of the 'story'. I don't know why I do these bad things to myself. I seriously wanted to switch this off and turn the TV over to the Paint Drying channel but I was bound by my word to suffer the whole thing. It's so bad you'll go off movies forever. And that's only scary part to the whole movie. There are people out there who will greenlight anything! That is the only explanation I can offer as to why the House of the Dead movie exists.
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